remembering and hurting

i dont know what's gotten into me... i woke up really early this morning, around 5 i think,which is really weird... it was still dark. i got up, went to the bathroom, went back to bed... i tried to get back to sleep but i cant... something was bugging me. something i wanted to let out. i have to talk to someone! who am i suppose to call at 5 A.M.?! so, i got up, made myself a cup of coffee... i'm having this urge to check something (or someone) on friendster... but what's the use, he rejects my friend requests anyway... but after a few tears and denying to myself that i terribly needed to see him, i decided to go online and view his account... i just want to know if he's okay... and if he has a new girlfriend na... :)

he's name's Luigi, nyway... he was my second boyfriend, 4 or 5 years ago... he loved me so much, but i took him for granted, actually, i cheated on him, two-timed him... it makes me sick just thinking of what i did to him...

that was the stupidest thing i've done... but it took me years to realize it... i let go of the only person who seems to understand me. of all the relationships i've been through, he was the only one who treated me not only as a girlfriend, it was more than that, i just can't explain with words... then, i remembered the simple things he'd do just to talk to me, like one time, since we dont see each other coz he's from cavite pa, we just text each other the whole day, he volunteered to wash his mom's car instead of having it carwashed, kapalit, 300 cellcard! it sounds corny, but i find it really sweet...

i wanted to make it up with him. honestly, i want to get back with him, but i guess its too late... and i think he's mad at me... i just want to share this to whoever is reading this right now... i guess you wont really realize a person's worth until he (or she) is gone... please dont make the same mistake that i did... :(

love, sometimes, can get really selfish... we tend to indulge in something soo good, we don't care if someone gets hurt, of if someone wants a part of it... sometimes we dont even realize that we are losing everything we've got and everything that matters to us...
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fritzie blurted out...
3:57 PM